After giving Alec Baldwin’s Donald Trump his impeachment victory lap during last week’s cold open, Saturday Night Live turned its attention this week to yet another star-studded Democratic primary debate.
Former SNL cast member Jason Sudeikis kicked things off as Joe Biden, addressing his poor performance in Iowa by saying, “I’ll be honest, losing Iowa was a real kick in the nuts.” But he wasn’t worried at all, promising that by the time the candidates get to South Carolina, he was going do “what Joe Biden does best, creep up from behind.”
“Just when you think your lead is safe, my numbers are going to come up and surprise you with a nice, sweet kiss on the neck,” he added.
“I still can’t believe all this mess happened in Iowa because of an app,” Larry David’s Bernie Sanders said. “Hey, I have an idea for an app, it’s called no apps. No apps, no computers, no gadgets, no gizmos. You show up to your polling place, take a number like you do at the butcher, they call your ticket, you walk up to the counter and say to the guy, ‘give me a pound of whatever’s about to go bad.’”
After a word from the debate’s sponsor Mike Bloomberg—”Try Bloomberg: He’s not as short as Trump is fat.”—Sanders and Elizabeth Warren (Kate McKinnon) tried to “out-poor” each other and Colin Jost’s Pete Buttigieg was forced to address his lack of support from black voters.
“Look, people say I’m not very popular among minorities,” he said. “They’ve been referring to me as ‘Mayo Pete.’ But I assure you, I’m not that spicy.”
When it came time for closing statements, Rachel Dratch’s Amy Klobuchar made her case as the “most reasonable” candidate on the stage, Warren argued that the only way to prove her “electability” would be to elect her and Sanders addressed his biggest asset or liability, depending on how you look at it.
“I don’t know how or why it happened, but I am king of an army of internet trolls called Bernie Bros,” Sanders said. “Could I stop them in their tracks? Of course. Should I? Yes. Will I? Eh. Hillary Clinton says nobody likes me. Let me ask you this, then how come I’m the most popular guy on 4Chan?”
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